How to Make Your Children Laugh...Read Them Strange Books and Talk About Arm Pits

(In full disclosure, this photo has little to do with my post...except...as you'll find out later in the post..the woman has her arms above her head. And, if you must know, I look like her in a sports bra in my workout dreams)

It's been far too long...I know... since I've posted about my day-to-day shenanigans!

The biggest reason...the monkey's aren't napping anymore!!!

This means that I don't have the little pocket of free time in the middle of the day in which I used to write and read and, well, breathe!

"Well, aren't they going to bed earlier?" one might ask, "Offering you all sorts of new found free time after they go to bed?"

Haha.

Yes. Sometimes they go to bed a little bit earlier. But no, it's not a very productive bit of time. The honest answer... I'm so tired from chasing them around all day (and pulling them off of the chandeliers) that I just crash on the couch and stare at either the t.v., my husband (whom I have no words for because my brain has shut down), or a really fluffy magazine.

So my apologies! The funny stories are still in full swing...the writing of them has merely come to a halt!

That said, my sister in law, who is having a really tough week, told me she misses the funny stories...so, for her, to cheer her up, I'm going to share a funny moment from the week...


Mommy Moment of the Week: Mommy Has Become a Spectacle


     So, we're sitting on the couch the other day, all nicely snuggled beneath warm blankets with a stack of library books at our side. I'm feeling like super mom because I've put all the cleaning, and folding and house tasks aside to invest in my girls and have a nice, intimate moment with them.

     The girls picked out several books about Christmas, for whatever reason. One about Santa Claus and one about the three wise men.

    The Santa one was a pretty easy read.

     The three wise men one, the one I was looking forward to because it was about the spiritual components of Christmas was just o.k., and, well, the pictures were a little...odd.

    "Mom, why are the wise men wearing make-up"

    "Oh, honey, I don't know...I think because the story took place around Egypt and so the artist was getting creative because a lot of Egyptians wore eyeliner." (I don't even know if this is true...I was kind of making things up on the fly!)

    We read a few more pages.

     "Mom...Look. Everyone is wearing make-up, even Mary!"

     "Uh-huh." I try to brush over the comment and move on.

      Finally...

      "MOM!!!! Jesus is wearing make-up!!! Why is Jesus wearing make-up?!"

      Oh my word.

      "Oh honey...I don't know."

      I really didn't know what to say. Mr. Tommie DePaola, author and illustrator of HUNDREDS of children's books, with numerous awards to his name, Why is Jesus wearing make-up? 

        "Well, I don't think Jesus really wore make-up."

       "No, Ava. I'm pretty sure you're right about that." 

    The conversation went downhill from there...

     Now completely distracted and no longer interested in the book Ava says, "Mom, can you lift your arms?"

      "No! Why?! Why do you want me to lift your arms?!!"

      "Do you have hair under your arms (meaning my arm pits, of course!!)?"

      "Oh Ava!"

       "Let me see!"

       I finally lift my arms. If I had any sense of decency left I should have left them down.

        "Ewwwwww!"

        Great. Now my children are laughing at my arm pits. She pulls Ella into the fray.

        "Mom," Ella says, "Lift your arm!"

        "No. No. NO! I'm not lifting my arm!"

          She tries to pry it up.

         "Mommy has hair under her arm!" Ella recants.

           For the record here...there wasn't really hair under my arms....I had just shaved the day prior before I went to the gym...it was more the darkish stubble that seems to become more permanent the older one gets (I'm so sorry...about arm pit talk and stubble here...it's all of got these days!).

        "Girls! That's what happens when you get older. You get hair under your arms! Why are we even having this conversation?!!!"

           They laugh at me...I distracted them with another book, "Dora's Christmas", in May mind you!

         The arm pit conversation died down....for the day anyways. At least once, every day since Wednesday, someone has needed to point out that mommies have hair under the arms.

         Good grief!

          I won't tell you about all of the other crazy things they ask me at the most inappropriate times....like what the purpose is of the silver disposal containers on the inside of women's public rest room walls! When I tell them I don't know they loudly start guessing on their own. Not sure which is worse, telling them the truth, or listening to what they come up with!

      Lin...hope that gave you a chuckle today (at the expense of TMI!)